2026 Is For Fighting

The new year is not yet three weeks old, but it is already rife with signs. Signs and portents. I have examined the flights of birds. I have consulted with the Pythia at Delphi (she says hello). I have completed a correspondence course and trained my newly certified haruspex skills upon the nearest sheep liver. The universe is trying to tell us something.

It began, as it often does, with the children. Out of the fists of babes, as the King James Version nearly says. Last weekend, a local youth hockey league was selected to be the Mites on Ice at an AHL game, having a quick game of shinny during the Hershey Bears' intermission. This is common enough. So too, is people from Pennsylvania engaging in antisocial behaviors. But the combination of the two was something new: a line brawl featuring children.

Those 8-and-unders were really whaling on each other! One kid got so riled up he started pummeling his own teammate. If you've watched any youth hockey before, you know these fisticuffs were staged by the fact that no one jumped in to separate the skirmish schoolboys. But the extent of the conspiracy is still unclear. The owner and president of the youth league put out a statement claiming that no adult took part in planning the fighting, and instead the children interpreted their moment in the spotlight as "show time." Still, the governing body is investigating.