Internal Schedule Confirms Kash Patel Went To Olympics To Be World’s Most Special Little Guy

Anyone with a shred of common sense could immediately tell that Kash Patel's trip to the Winter Olympics was a Batkid-style situation. Still, it is satisfying to have what was obvious to everyone confirmed by the FBI's own internal scheduling documents.

The New York Times got its hands on the official FBI schedule produced for Patel's long weekend in Italy, which confirmed that the FBI director spent the bulk of his time abroad fucking off and watching hockey. According to the document reviewed by the Times, Patel landed late in Rome on Thursday, Feb. 19. From there he went to dinner with Tilman Fertitta, a billionaire shithead who is the U.S. ambassador to Italy and the owner of the Houston Rockets.

On Friday, Patel had an hour-long meeting with Italy's domestic security agency, followed by snacks and drinks and several ceremonial events, after which he flew to Milan to watch the U.S. men's hockey team play Slovakia. The Times reports that Patel's Saturday schedule consisted of one 20-minute briefing, a half-hour tour of the Olympic joint security operations center, and a private lunch with an unidentified guest. The hours between 2:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. were booked for “personal time/cultural activities,” followed by a private dinner with unidentified companions.