Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

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Dec 19, 2025 - 15:15

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Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday at Defector during the NFL season. Got something you wanna contribute? Email the Roo. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it.

Lemme tell you about this fucking dog. The shit I have been through with this dog, you wouldn’t believe. We got him as a Christmas gift for our kids nine years ago. Before that, our kids were like DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG! GIVE US A DOG! And I was like, “I got two jobs and three kids, and now you want me to add a dog to this pile of shit on my desk? No. No way. Let’s just get another fish and then watch it die.”