Ohhhhhhhh, Arsenal

I have to come clean about something. For a while now, when writing about the state of the Premier League title race, I have treated an impending Arsenal coronation as basically a fait accompli. This has been in part an earnest reflection of my belief that the Gunners have the best top-to-bottom roster in the world, employ one of the game's best managers, and, maybe most importantly, compete in a field without challengers of the level we've come to expect. However, I'd be lying if I denied that part of my written confidence in the Gunners was meant as a jinx. It would be so funny, and so incredibly Arsenal, if the team were handed every conceivable advantage en route to a title race they should by all rights win at a canter, only to wilt under the pressure and collapse before reaching the finish line. While I of course have no influence on the performances or states of mind of anyone on the team, I do get a dark little thrill when I imagine one of my Arsenal-supporting friends seeing me assure them on the page that they shouldn't fear the thing that they are obviously, rightly most terrified of, in doing so only increasing their dread.

Now, no one with any familiarity of the club's historical reputation would've been surprised to see Arsenal ultimately fumble away the trophy. Nevertheless, I don't think even the biggest haters would've expected Arsenal's title charge to get this dire, this quickly. On Wednesday, the Gunners traveled to the West Midlands to face Wolves. The odd timing of the game (scheduled during the Champions League playoffs to compensate for Arsenal's domestic cup duties) and the gap in the table between the teams (first-place playing last-place) meant most neutrals probably didn't even bother monitoring what would've appeared to be an easy three-pointer for Arsenal. If you did decide to check the scoreline at some point during Club Brugge vs. Atlético Madrid or the like, you probably would've found what you expected. The Gunners got out to an early lead with a Bukayo Saka header in the fifth minute, and doubled the advantage about an hour later with Piero Hincapié's 56th-minute goal. Even later, should you have spotted that Hugo Bueno halved the deficit in the 61st minute, you probably wouldn't have assumed Arsenal was in any real risk. But what those context-free scoreboard checks would've hidden from you, which the final 2-2 scoreline cemented, was that Arsenal had been playing like total ass, and is now in the midst of a full-blown panic attack.