Team USA Had The Golden Goalie

So you're wondering one day later if the final Olympic event ended fairly, and we're here to tell you that it did. Sweden beat Switzerland in the women's curling final, and there’s no disputing it.

But for those of you who stream and have mastered the difference between "live" and "not live," the actual final event was the men's hockey final, and you can ask the same question, as many Canadians are doing even as we speak. Was the U.S.'s 2-1 overtime victory the “right” outcome, and of course the answer to that is no. The overtime lasted only 101 seconds, which was an outrage against all living things.

The score, though, was hockey through and through, because the first rule of hockey has always been "my hot goalie beats whatever you've got." The Canadians had the run of play almost throughout the day, but they didn't have Connor Hellebuyck, the U.S. goalie and industrial refrigerator impersonator who kept the faster, craftier and more attack-driven Canadians at stick length for most of the game, though sometimes only at paddle length.