There’s so much boning happening at the Winter Olympics that they’ve run out of condoms

We tune in every day to see inspirational athletes display their incredible talents in an attempt to win gold for their nation. There’s drama, triumph, heartache, and joy all on show, getting to the heart of what makes sport incredible.

Then when the cameras are off the athletes head back to the Olympic village and it becomes a sex-fest that the ancient Greeks would be proud of. Stocking athlete housing has been a common practice since 1988, when condoms were provided to athletes as a way to raise awareness of sexually transmitted diseases — but we’ve never seen a games run out of condoms before … until now.

Organizers of the Milano Cortina games say that the athletes’ village is officially out of condoms according to a report by Italian newspaper La Stampa.

“The supplies ran out in just three days,” an anonymous athlete told the Italian newspaper. “They promised us more will arrive, but who knows when.”

Athletes were given a staggering number of condoms at the Paris games in 2024, two per day for every athlete. The number at these Winter Olympics is substantially lower, estimated to be around 10,000 for the 3,000 athletes. However, the key difference is that we don’t really know how many were used in Paris — just that they were supplied. If we factor in that the Milan condoms were depleted in just three days it means every single athlete used 1.11 condom per day on average.

Rumors of Olympic village debauchery have been known for years now. Athletes have been known to use hyper-localized Tinder settings to get matched with other athletes — and when everyone is in great shape, riding on adrenaline, and young, well, sex happens.

Congrats on all the sex, athletes.