Manchester United Wants To Get Into The Docuseries Business

Two noteworthy developments in British entertainment were announced yesterday. One was about a much discussed cooking show, and the other about a much discussed soccer team, and so by definition infinitely more tedious.

The cooking show is The Great British Bake Off, the much-imitated and semi-duplicated staple of oven-based society, has aficionados everywhere, and remains a chief repository of Defector's very limited supply of admiration. There, the venerable Prue Leith, who replaced the equally venerable Mary Berry as the charming counterpoint to Paul Hollywood (real name: Paul Hollywood), announced that she would be leaving the show for its 17th series; her replacement would be another maven of televised British cuisine, Nigella Lawson. People who eat better than us swear by Lawson and her sometime wink-wink-nudge-nudge descriptions of the ingredients and their preparation, so well done to them. At least our own kitchen help thinks so, and who are we to question their views, especially when they could put ground glass in the company picnic burger meat and we would never know?

It is more difficult to stomach Manchester United's plan for, and this is The Athletic's description, "a dramatised retelling of the club’s history . . .  similar in style to The Crown." Good lord. Can we get a window-quality slider, double-paned with cheese, please?