Norwegian Biathlete, At Summit Of His Life’s Work: I Cheated On My Girlfriend

The biathlon encourages athletes to balance two things at once. A competitor must be able to ski a great distance at an immense speed, and then, as if turning off a light-switch, lower their heart rate, aim a gun, and shoot six tiny targets, before returning to skiing around really quickly. But after winning the bronze medal in the men's 20km biathlon this morning, Norwegian biathlete Sturla Holm Lægreid admitted, for no reason at all, to another kind of balancing act: cheating on his damn girlfriend.

After winning bronze, Lægreid gave an interview to the Norwegian broadcaster NRK in which he immediately broke down in tears and revealed all the details of his personal life to the entire country of Norway. "'Last night I had a kind of revelation that I should drop this bomb ... Then we'll see what happens. I have nothing to lose," he told NRK. You would think that an athlete who spends a lot of time regulating his heart rate would have a little more self-control, but no! He spilled all the details of this unexpected variety of Olympic cheating scandal.

“There is something I want to share with someone who may not be watching today,” 28-year-old Lægreid said as he cried. “Half a year ago I met the love of my life. The world’s most beautiful and nicest person. Three months ago I made the mistake of my life and cheated on her, and I told her about that a week ago. This has been the worst week of my life.”